UKIMPENDA SANA MTU USIYE MUAMINI, JIANDAE KUJIUA/ KUWA KICHAA

NI mwaka mpya na mambo mapya lakini kiukweli kwenye suala la mapenzi hakuwezi kuwa na mambo mapya. 


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Mambo ni yaleyale na ndiyo maana hata nitakayokuwa nayaandika hapa kwa mwaka huu hayawezi kuwa tofauti sana na yale ambayo tumekuwa tukielezana kila siku. 


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 Leo nitazungumzia jinsi ambavyo unaweza kujiweka katika mazingira ya kujiua au kuwa kichaa endapo utatokea kuwa kwenye mapenzi na mtu ambaye unampenda sana lakini humuamini. 


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Ukijaribu kufuatilia utabaini kwamba, huko mtaani kilio cha wengi walio kwenye uhusiano ni kutowaamini wapenzi wao na kila wakati kuhisi wanasalitiwa. Wapo ambao si tu kwamba wanahisi bali wanawafumania kila kukicha.


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Kwa kifupi kasi ya wapenzi kusalitiana imekuwa ikishika kasi kila siku kiasi cha baadhi kuhisi bila kusaliti hawasikii raha. 


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Yaani wanapatilizwa kila kitu na wenza wao lakini bado wanatoka nje. Unakuta mwanaume ana mke mzuri anayejua mapenzi na kila kitu lakini bado mwanaume huyo haridhiki na anachepuka.


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Pia wapo wanawake ambao wamebahatika kuwapata wanaume ‘handsome’, wanaojua mapenzi na kujali pia lakini bado tamaa za usaliti wanakuwa nazo. Ukiuliza kipi kigeni wanachofuata huko nje, huwezi kupata jibu la maana.


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Nilishawahi kufanya uchunguzi huko nyuma kwa kuzungumza na baadhi ya wapenzi kuhusu hili suala la kusalitiwa. 

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Wengi walikiri kujua kwamba kuna uwezekano mkubwa wapenzi wao wanawasaliti lakini wenyewe wanadai ni mambo ambayo wakiyafuatilia sana wanaweza kujikuta wanaachana wakati huenda bado wanapendana.


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“Hivi unadhani ni wakati wa kuamini asilimia zote kwamba husalitiwi? Binafsi kwa ninavyomjua mume wangu na huu utitiri wa wanawake ‘cheap’ huko mtaani, nahisi kwake itakuwa ngumu sana kuvumilia, ila kinachonifanya niwe na amani ni kwamba, ananiheshimu na sijawahi kumfumania.


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“Hilo ndilo linalonifanya niwe mpole ila najua hakosi mchepuko na nikimfuatilia najua wazi nitamfuma, tutagombana na hata kufikia hatua ya kuachana, sasa ya nini hayo?

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 “Maana ninachojua ni kwamba, ukimfuatilia sana mpenzi wako unatafuta sababu ili muachane, sasa kama hauko tayari muachane ni vyema ukamuamini na kama huko pembeni ana vichenchede, ni yeye na Mungu wake,” alisema Sharifa wa Sinza jijini Dar ambaye ndoa yake sasa ina miaka 10.


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Mwingine ambaye nilibahatika kuzungumza naye alijitambulisha kwa jina la Juma wa Nguvumali, Tanga. Huyu anaeleza kuwa, amekuwa akishuhudia wanawake wengi anaowaheshimu akiamini kwamba wametulia na wapenzi wao wakiwasaliti wapenzi wao. Hili linamfanya hata mpenzi wake asimuamini kwa asilimia zote.


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“Huwa nawaona wanawake ambao sikuwahi kufikiria kuwa wanaweza kuwasaliti wake zao lakini wanafanya hivyo. Mfano kuna shemeji yangu, mke wa rafiki yangu, ni mpole sana, mtaratibu na anaonekana asiye na ‘time’ na wanaume. 


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“Huwezi kuamini siku moja nilimfuma akiingia gesti na mwanaume. Nilipigwa na butwaa na hapo ndipo nilipoamini kwamba hakuna asiyesalitiwa na kama yupo basi ana bahati sana.”


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Hao ni watu wachache tu ambao niliongea nao lakini wengi walikiri usaliti upo tena wanaoongoza kusaliti ni wale ambao wapenzi wao wanawaamini sana. Kuna ambao walifikia hatua ya kukiri kwamba eti wakibaini wapenzi wao wanawasaliti na wao wanachepuka.


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Hii yote inaonesha ni kwa jinsi gani mapenzi ya sasa usaliti unachukuliwa kama fasheni. Yaani mama fulani akimuona shoga yake ana ‘kibenten’ basi naye anatafuta ili waende sawa. Huu ni ulimbukeni uliopitiliza.

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KIPI KIFANYIKE?


Kutokana na utafiti huu niliofanya ambao naamini hata wewe unakubaliana nao, kuna kila sababu kila aliye kwenye uhusiano kumuamini mwenza wake kwa kiwango kinachostahili. Sisemi umuamini tu hata kama unaona anakuchezea rafu, lahasha! Muamini pale ambapo una sababu ya kufanya hivyo.


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Ukiona dalili za wazi kwamba anakusaliti, ukafuatilia na kugundua ni kweli ana mtu au watu wengine unaochangia nao penzi, hutakiwi kuvumilia. Mtu huyo atakuwa hana nafasi kwenye maisha yako hivyo haraka muweke kando maana ukiendelea kuwa naye unatafuta kujiua au kudata.

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TAFAKARI CHUKUA HATUA


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BongoLife : UKIMPENDA SANA MTU USIYE MUAMINI, JIANDAE KUJIUA/ KUWA KICHAA
UKIMPENDA SANA MTU USIYE MUAMINI, JIANDAE KUJIUA/ KUWA KICHAA
BongoLife
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https://www.bongolives.com/
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